Poems
Men
If you don't let him kiss you, you don't love him
If you let him, he thinks you are cheap
If you praise him, he thinks you are pressuring him
If you don't, he thinks you don't care
If you agree to all his wants, he is abusing
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you want to be romantic, he thinks you want a sugar daddy
If you don't, you are plain and boring
If you visit him too often, he thinks you want to get married
If you don't, he worries about new boyfriends
If you put make-up on, he accuses you of flirting
If you don't, he thinks you look like a housewife
If you are jealous, he believes "It's natural for men"
If you don't, he thinks "He can have his cake and eat it too"
If you want a gift of flowers, he thinks "It's a waste of money"
If you don't, he thinks you don't deserve it
If you come early, he thinks you are an irony lady
If you don't, he thinks "that's a girl's way"
If you want an ambitious man, you are pushy
If you don't, you don't care about his future
If you help him out, his ego is injured
If you don't, his feelings are hurt
If you make more money than him, he cannot marry you
If you don't make any, he wants someone else
If he makes a suggestion, he wants you to agree
If you don't, you are being difficult
If you say "no", he thinks you mean "try again"
If you don't, he has no respect for you
O Lord!! We are just humans like our fellow "Men"
Why can't we get along?
Don't we deserve respect just like them?
Our wants are simple, tender loving, care and respect.
AMEN.
Women
If you kiss her, you are not a gentlemen
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you make romance, you are an "experience man"
If you don't, you are half a man
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you don't love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you don't like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says "That's a girl's way"
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
If she is visited by another, "Oh! it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once is a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics
If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring
If she talks, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
Oh God!! You created those creatures call "WOMAN"
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
"O Lord, tell me what to do, A MEN."
Marriage
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You
order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you
wish
you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I
married
the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree
and
the woman gets her master's.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying
for
it."
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until
I got married; and then it was too late."
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a ten-year
married man looks happy - we wonder why.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool
when
I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love
and
didn't notice it."
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one
thing: either the car is new or the wife.
A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.
A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the
friend.
The woman replied, " A multimillionaire".
- - Marriage is not a word, it's a SENTENCE.
- - Marriage is a three ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and
suffeRING.
- - I don't believe in the slogan 'Make Love Not War'; instead 'Get
Married
And Do Both'.
When you are Old
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book, and slowly read,
And dream of the soft look,
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
but one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars;
Murmur, a little sadly,
How love fled,
And paced upon the mountains overhead,
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
W.B. Yeats
Matter of Interpretation
When I take a long time -- I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time He is thorough.
When I don't do it -- I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it He is too busy.
When I do something without being told - I am trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same -- that is initiative.¡@
When I please my boss -- I am apple-polishing.
When my boss pleases his boss -- He's co-operating.¡@
When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I was wrong, he never forgets.
